Cheney has a heart?!?

This was the response of one of my co-workers on learning that doctors had administered an electrical shock to his heart after he had experienced an irregular heartbeat.

Some other reactions from the blogosphere:

"In any case, doctors were in for a surprise when they pried open his chest.
'All his precious bodily fluids vere there,' the Dr. said after the operation. 'Just no heart.'
Scientists call this condition 'Heart-Eroding A-hole Reactionary Termino-Legalistic Entropic S-head Syndrome,' or HEARTLESS. It generally afflicts angry white males, particularly those making over $500,000 a year who pay more than one-tenth of one-percent of their income in taxes. It begins in the heart's right wing and eventually eats away at the rest of the organ. "--Gabriel Rotello.

Allen L. Roland has another theory, that Cheney has a wooden heart.

"Cheney's wooden heart is incapable of making a heart/mind connection which obviously accounts for Cheney's well known mantra ~ The natural state of man is War .
It is also incapable of empathy, compassion and most certainly love and is totally resistant to social cooperation and altruism. It seems to be unaffected by reality, has a strange aversion to sunlight and prefers to operate in seclusion ~ which explains Cheney's tendency to operate from his bunker deep beneath the White house West wing."

Others have suggested that finding Dick's heart would require microsurgery.